I am not good tonight.
You hurt me deeply.
Please let me know if you fall in love with others instead telling me my fault.
Can you know how suffer am I? You will never know this kind of feeling.
Just want to let you know from the day you know me til now I never change. NEVER EVER!!!
Von
I still can feel the pain around although it has been passed for few months. I was wondering when I can really put down the relationship. I find nobody to talk to.
Sometime I hope I can get a friend to talk to but not. I feel suffer sometime. I admitted I love him still ♥ but he not. Why he can treat me like that. Because of my characteristic, our long distance and make him leave me? But in my mind, this is not a problem. If I really become a person you feel I am different then you must let me know instead. Secondly, let me know if you want me to go back Malaysia. But you are not!!! You accepted all the my decision then leave me behind and you keep walking forward and I still stand on the ground and awaiting you to turn back to tell me you are joking and today is an 'April Fool'. Indeed, I know it is impossible.
God, if I know this is the result I would not accept him earlier. It really hurts me and make me pain for a long time. Please show me a direction what should I do. I cannot stand on this anymore!!!!
Please~
Von
The home suddenly become silent much. It looks like my feeling. I become silent nowadays because I do not know how to be expressed. By blogging, I can write as much as possible although I am not strong in my writing. But I know that I am improving. Today is sunday. I was letting my mind relax and keep quiet without anybody sound arround. I think this is what I want for my life. ♥
Today not only is a normal weekend, it is also father's day. I used to take it normal for this special day. But it is different for me in this year. I miss my family much. I wish I could at Penang at this moments. Stay beside my parents, but I believe it could only appear in my dream because I am unable to go back in this short while. Have to plan if August or September to go back.
With Love,
Ie von
I was wondering why I am so pesimistic. I can't get out from the sadness. Always I stay in my own life which is unhealthy. I wish I my family are all beside me but no. I have grow up, need to be independent. I know but can I just act like a child, a child that will look for their parents if there are anything.
Tell you what! My application has been accepted by University of Portsmouth. I have decided to accept the offer tomorrow. Without bridging course, there is some spaces for me to breath. I wish this choice is correct. Hopefully by 27th June I can have a proper lifestyle which study and working in proper order as well as give me a space to breath out, which is blogger.
Missing home seriously. Miss the time make noice with siblings. Although we argue all the time but it is enjoyable. But now there is no time for us to argue. Haix. Oh. Not to forget, uncle is going back next week with his family. I am able to feel the excitment around them.
I love my papa and mama. I promise I will back frequently once I am free ♥
With Love,
Ie Von
Finally I create my personal blog here. Love to express about my life recently by using words. This blog enables me to review back my when I recover from my ill feeling. I feel deeper down past few days till now. I hate the environment all of sudden. Working life, living life and study life. My life is not even a proper life because I cant even know and control what am I thinking and doing. God, can you please listen my words and point me a direction. I will write down my daily feel to release my pain.
