29 12 13

I will do my best to forget you. I know you have fallen in love with somebody and i become nothing to you anymore. Xie xie ni de wu qing!

25 12 13

Today, I accidentedly saw your photos in Facebook. You were enjoying with your friends in club during Christmas eve. I know it is no longer my business but I don't know why I felt very sad and all things about you came across to my mind. It has been passed for 8 months since we break up, supposingly I should be same like you, forget everything and start the new story in life. But it wasn't as easy as I thought. Opposingly, it is extremely hard! 

From we knew each others untill we fall in love, hold hand to face all the hard time, and we end up break up. The length of the relationship is not short but could not consider long. But I do believe I have put all my effort to love you. And I believe I will not love others as much as I love you from the day our relationship break.

Last time, I strongly believe you will never leave me alone although I know I am a person who very hard to stay with. Before the relationship begin, you know but you have chosen to believe I can change because of you. Who know, I was determined to stay in SG after graduate and believe about long distance relationship! Me myself will never ever fall in love with others as long as I know someone is waiting for me in Malaysia. But this long distance relationship only last for less than a year. The reason you have been given to me was my characteristic has been changed after I staying here. I admitted because the life here made me become more independent but yet I need you most of time as my supporter. The reasons why I requested more cam-call.

I was easily affected by your actions no matter during relationship or even we break up. I actually told my friend and her response was "you still never let him go or clear from your mind and that is the reason why you easily get affected by his actions". I rejected this statement at first and said I need more time. In fact, I know the statement is true enough. Remember the last message I sent you through FB 2 months ago, I said let me to cut the relation off and do not reply the message anymore and you made it indeed. Congratulation! Most of time, I wanted to message you but I could not break this. I cannot so selfish to disturb your happiness.

Remember I commented on the photo with you and you said that this is inappropriate and you have removed the tag because you do not want anybody to talk about this issue. At the point of time, I felt guilty and on the other hand, I was like I cannot accept it and heart pain. But end up, I tend myself to accept and face this naturally.

I am so tiring and hope you have a good christmas celebration.

Von

Stress

Up to this moments, i feel stress and I cant even clear up my mind. I cant find someone to talk with. I realise I got no listener beside me..God, who can I talk to with all my unhappy. I really dont know. Cannot cry is the worst case because I cant even realise the stressful :( I am not happy but who knows.

Missing

I miss him but I want him to be as happy as now. You will be the one I love the most in my life and I know I will never forget you.

Release

Relationship
Today I looked back his photos in facebook, I found that he looks like a stranger, not a person who I love him for 3 years. Jeff Hong, you have made it. I am longer love you. I know the time has brought me pass from the sadness. I will never hate you but wish you can get a better one in near future. At the same time, the girl will love and understand as much as I do. At the same time, congratz myself have 95% recover from this!!

Study
Exam week now! Feel tiring as not enougb of sleep. And I found OMA is tough. I have no idea how am I going to pass the paper. At this moment, wish I need not to resit the exam will do. God bless ♥

Working
Work is tough for me too. Why dont fair to me? As I know I am not as good as others.

Family
One word: MISS!!!
I will be back next month. See you my lovely family members.

With Loves,

Von

Alone

I changed? YES! I tend not to tell everyone my things. I keep all in my heart. One day I am going to explore. God, please give me a direction. I need your help. Pls

Sick

I am sick seriously. I cannot forget him till now. Hong Ching Shing, can you go away from my mind. Pls

Von

Not feeling good

I am not good tonight.
You hurt me deeply.
Please let me know if you fall in love with others instead telling me my fault.
Can you know how suffer am I? You will never know this kind of feeling.

Just want to let you know from the day you know me til now I never change. NEVER EVER!!!

Von

Pain

I still can feel the pain around although it has been passed for few months. I was wondering when I can really put down the relationship. I find nobody to talk to.

Sometime I hope I can get a friend to talk to but not. I feel suffer sometime. I admitted I love him still ♥ but he not. Why he can treat me like that. Because of my characteristic, our long distance and make him leave me? But in my mind, this is not a problem. If I really become a person you feel I am different then you must let me know instead. Secondly, let me know if you want me to go back Malaysia. But you are not!!! You accepted all the my decision then leave me behind and you keep walking forward and I still stand on the ground and awaiting you to turn back to tell me you are joking and today is an 'April Fool'. Indeed, I know it is impossible.

God, if I know this is the result I would not accept him earlier. It really hurts me and make me pain for a long time. Please show me a direction what should I do. I cannot stand on this anymore!!!!

Please~

Von

Silent

The home suddenly become silent much. It looks like my feeling. I become silent nowadays because I do not know how to be expressed. By blogging, I can write as much as possible although I am not strong in my writing. But I know that I am improving. Today is sunday. I was letting my mind relax and keep quiet without anybody sound arround. I think this is what I want for my life. ♥

Today not only is a normal weekend, it is also father's day. I used to take it normal for this special day. But it is different for me in this year. I miss my family much. I wish I could at Penang at this moments. Stay beside my parents, but I believe it could only appear in my dream because I am unable to go back in this short while. Have to plan if August or September to go back.

With Love,

Ie von

Out from the Jungle

I was wondering why I am so pesimistic. I can't get out from the sadness. Always I stay in my own life which is unhealthy. I wish I my family are all beside me but no. I have grow up, need to be independent. I know but can I just act like a child, a child that will look for their parents if there are anything.

Tell you what! My application has been accepted by University of Portsmouth. I have decided to accept the offer tomorrow. Without bridging course, there is some spaces for me to breath.  I wish this choice is correct. Hopefully by 27th June I can have a proper lifestyle which study and working in proper order as well as give me a space to breath out, which is blogger.

Missing home seriously. Miss the time make noice with siblings. Although we argue all the time but it is enjoyable. But now there is no time for us to argue. Haix. Oh. Not to forget, uncle is going back next week with his family. I am able to feel the excitment around them.

I love my papa and mama. I promise I will back frequently once I am free ♥

With Love,

Ie Von

08 June 2013

Finally I create my personal blog here. Love to express about my life recently by using words. This blog enables me to review back my when I recover from my ill feeling. I feel deeper down past few days till now. I hate the environment all of sudden. Working life, living life and study life. My life is not even a proper life because I cant even know and control what am I thinking and doing. God, can you please listen my words and point me a direction. I will write down my daily feel to release my pain.